“Wandering between reality and dreams, I stood up and took a deep breath. I felt the cold air seep through the window – it’s morning. I haven’t had a chance to sleep again. I was too preoccupied thinking about the past – a colorful passing albeit dread with regret and sorrow. No, I couldn’t forget that of which molded me of what I am right now.”
This is but a rant of a man who is forcing himself to drown in an illusion of depression – someone who is actually normal, but is pretending to be an outcast who’s only satisfaction is rejection. Acceptance of himself is something he believes in truly, whilst the real self is telling that it is nothing but slander.
Dramatic as it should’ve been, it never is. Everything is normal. Living a life free of actual worry, he guises his delusions on the non-existent. An escapist you may say, but it’s more than that. This man is trying to rid himself of the truth. Rejecting the nuance of satisfaction, he denies himself of the things he had obtained – one of which is understanding and acceptance.
No one seems to understand him though. He doesn’t say anything after all.